Dreams Come True

A few weeks ago, on a post I wrote, I said that whenever I got to lead worship I would write about it. Well, it happened!

Last Saturday, at my church, the services for youth started again after not having any for almost three or four months; I was given the enormous privilege of leading worship for that first service and it was absolutely life changing.

Never in my life would I have thought that standing in front of about forty people singing to Jesus would change my life in such a radical way. Of course I was nervous, I had never done that before, but I’m more than positive that the Holy Spirit guided me and the band so that our worship and our songs and our music would be of a sweet and fragant smell for God; the most special offering yet to have given Him.

I can only imagine the things that God has in store for me, I know that I have to be patient, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get excited about them! Last week was such a huge blessing, and I know my life is totally gonna go in a different direction after this.

On Sunday night I spoke in tongues; I had spoken in tongues before, but that night was different. The tongues I had spoken before were the same, but when I was praying and shouting out to God I started speaking in comepletely different tongues. It was like a whole other language that I had never heard before; I think about it and if I would’ve heard myself in a “normal” atmosphere I know I would’ve sounded completely ridiculous. But in my heart I felt such joy and so much love for Jesus, as I was listening to myself speak those different tongues, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. There is no way to describe what I felt that night, but I hope that it increases each and every day.

These experiences that Jesus allowed me to have are molding me to become a better future wife for Him, every day I wanna fall more and more in love with Him. There really is no reason to live if I’m not living for Him. And I can honestly say that my life right now is ALL about Him. The feeling that I have now, just writing about Him and what He has allowed me to go through, makes me want to sing out and laugh and cry.

One day I will be in the heavens, with my husband Jesus Christ, and I will sing and praise Him for all of eternity. I really can’t wait for that time to come!


Unfathomable Love

Sometimes I can’t explain the or even comprehend the joy I feel when I’m near my Love. I’m at church dancing and I feel this freedom rising up withing me and I suddenly can’t stop smiling. I’m twirling, jumping, running, and this huge wave within me is rising up; I cry, I sing out, I worship, I yell. When I sing I can’t help but smile at every word coming out of my mouth proclaiming his awesome power and love for me. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry and sing out.

I pray and I kneel before Him and I thank Him and I worship Him and I sing to Him. What touches me the most is knowing that I am worthless, yet in His great mercy, He allows me to come to Him, to kneel before Him and say words of love to Him. And in that moment I realize I am not worhtless; I am worth every single drop of blood from His body, I am worthy to be called His daughter, worthy to praise and sing and dance to the Holiest being in the universe because His life, His sacrifice makes me worthy to praise Him.

When I’m at church and we pray I sometimes get on my knees and immediately break down in front of Him, thankful for allowing me to come to Him. Thankful because in all of His glory, He chooses to humble Himself and come to me. The feeling I get within me is totally unexplainable. There is nothing on this earth that I would rather choose over Him, over the way I feel whenever I’m at His presence. There is a song Kim walker sings, it’s called “Healing Oil” and all it says is:

I can feel Your healing oil running down my brow.

I wouldn’t trade another lifetime for how I feel right now.

And truer words have never been said; I would never EVER in my life give up the amazing comforting feeling I have whenever I’m with Jesus for anything in this universe. I feel at peace, calm, my life is still when I’m with Him; yet at the same time I am overwhelmed. My spirit is rejoicing, my heart is joyful, my lips sing out to him, my hands wave in the air for him, my whole body seems to be so active when I am near Him. It’s this beautiful dichotomy within myself that makes Him so desirable and so irresistible to me.

I wish I could describe with amazing clarity my feeling for Him but it’s impossible. I think the closest word, and my all-time favorite word, to describe Him and everything I feel when I’m with Him is “unfathomable.

adjective: unfathomable
  1. incapable of being fully explored or understood


Will there ever be a word, or set of words to describe how I feel for Him, how His amazing and pure love makes me feel? NEVER. EVER. Is there ever going to be a word that perfectly describes His magnificence and extraordinary power? NOPE. And that is why I absolutely love the word “unfathomable” to describe every aspect of Christ’s being and my own feelings towards Him, because no one will ever understand it ever. Every single human being is incapable of understanding just how great and amazing and fulfilling HIs love is. Just how great His existence is, how merciful He is.
His death and resurrection are things we know and comprehend, but are we ever going to totally comprehend Jesus’ willingness to give up HIs life for us? I highly doubt it. And I’m not saying this in a bad way; what I’m trying to say is that that type of love is so absolutely amazing and pure that it is incapable of being fully explored.
All I know is that my heart and soul and spirit are happy whenever I’m with Him. And I would never trade in that joy that I feel and experience in my life for anything in this world. Everything I am and everything I have is because of Him. If I have Jesus in my life I have everything I need.