Dreams Come True

A few weeks ago, on a post I wrote, I said that whenever I got to lead worship I would write about it. Well, it happened!

Last Saturday, at my church, the services for youth started again after not having any for almost three or four months; I was given the enormous privilege of leading worship for that first service and it was absolutely life changing.

Never in my life would I have thought that standing in front of about forty people singing to Jesus would change my life in such a radical way. Of course I was nervous, I had never done that before, but I’m more than positive that the Holy Spirit guided me and the band so that our worship and our songs and our music would be of a sweet and fragant smell for God; the most special offering yet to have given Him.

I can only imagine the things that God has in store for me, I know that I have to be patient, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get excited about them! Last week was such a huge blessing, and I know my life is totally gonna go in a different direction after this.

On Sunday night I spoke in tongues; I had spoken in tongues before, but that night was different. The tongues I had spoken before were the same, but when I was praying and shouting out to God I started speaking in comepletely different tongues. It was like a whole other language that I had never heard before; I think about it and if I would’ve heard myself in a “normal” atmosphere I know I would’ve sounded completely ridiculous. But in my heart I felt such joy and so much love for Jesus, as I was listening to myself speak those different tongues, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. There is no way to describe what I felt that night, but I hope that it increases each and every day.

These experiences that Jesus allowed me to have are molding me to become a better future wife for Him, every day I wanna fall more and more in love with Him. There really is no reason to live if I’m not living for Him. And I can honestly say that my life right now is ALL about Him. The feeling that I have now, just writing about Him and what He has allowed me to go through, makes me want to sing out and laugh and cry.

One day I will be in the heavens, with my husband Jesus Christ, and I will sing and praise Him for all of eternity. I really can’t wait for that time to come!

Completely Changed

Yesterday, as I was in school listening to worship music, I came across a preaching from Jesus Culture’s “Awakening” conference in which Kim Walker talks about the REAL meaning of worship. As stated in a previous post, I’ve been having a hard time lately at my church because I want to do things that I believe I should be doing but I am not doing them, and I have not been “enjoying” myself when I’m at church because of that thought.

Have you ever seen a cartoon in which a character is chasing someone else, like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner, and he tries SO hard to catch the Roadrunner but then something gets in his way, a train, a wall, a falling boulder, and it stops him from what he is doing? Well that’s pretty much exactly what happened to me yesterday at school.

As Kim was talking about worship, I realized that I really don’t know how to worship. I mean, sure, I can sing and pray and I enjoy spontaneous songs and love every minute of it, but I seriously doubt I have ever worshipped the way she described it to be. And then she goes on to talk about God’s love and how it’s magnificent, and huge, and extravagant, and it just HIT me like a boulder falling on me.

I can’t be asking God to let me be a worship leader. I mean, obviously I can, but I have absolutely no right to. Who am I to be asking Him to put me in a position that I think I deserve when I don’t even deserve being alive? I am not worthy at all to be on this earth, I am not worthy to be alive, but most of all, I am not worthy AT ALL to be close to Him. He is the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the most powerful being, wisest, most beautiful man in the whole universe; I could search a billion years and I could never find anyone like Him. So why am I asking HIm to give me something else, when I should be more than satisfied, completely happy, and head over heels in love with Him because He allows me to be with Him.

It’s that type of realization, this revelation that God gave to me yesterday, that completely changed me. It doesnt matter if I don’t ever get to lead worship, it doesn’t matter if I don’t ever go around singing about Him; all that truly matters is that His love for me is so much that He humbles Himslef and comes down from His holy throne to be with me, and that is so much more than I could ever ask for. I am so deeply thankful that Jesus talks to me in unexpected ways and is able to change the way I think.

My love, my praise, my EVERYTHING will always be for God, Jesus Christ, Jehovah, my Savior, my Beloved. All that I am is to Him and for Him only.